Faith Is Living with the Questions

Today I watched Steven Curtis Chapman and his family give a really powerful interview on Good Morning America's website, talking very honestly about the loss of their 5-year-old little girl a few months ago. She was tragically killed when her older brother accidentally struck her with an SUV in their driveway. It was all over the news, and I think this was the first time that the family had come out to publicly speak about it. It was very emotional, and very inspiring. They are truly a testimony of God's grace and faithfulness.

Something that SCC said that really hit home for me was about how just because you are a person with strong faith doesn't mean that you don't have questions--sometimes lots of them. In fact, he believes that faith is living with the questions.

That statement struck such a chord with me that I grabbed a pencil and wrote it down. I feel like that's exactly the point to which I have come. Living with the questions. Being OK with the fact that most of those questions will likely never have answers. But having faith just the same, in spite of all those questions and the absence of answers. I have journeyed a long way to get to this point, and without a doubt haven't "arrived" at any gigantic epiphony just yet, but at least I have been able to find peace in the midst of it all. And that's huge for me.

A song that I have loved from the moment I first heard it is Joy Williams' "You Know Better Than I." For a long time, it was kind of the ballad of where I wanted to be. I think now though, it describes more of where I am. It goes like this:

I thought I did what's right.
I thought I had the answers.
I thought I chose the surest road,
But that road brought me here.
So I put up a fight and told You how to help me.
And just when I had given up,
The truth is coming clear.

For You know better than I.
You know the way.
And I've let go the need to know why,
'Cause You know better than I.

If this has been a test,
I cannot see the reason.
But maybe knowing I don't know
Is part of getting through.
I try to do what's best,
And faith has made it easy
To see the best thing I can do
Is put my faith in You.

For You know better than I.
You know the way.
And I've let go the need to know why,
'Cause You know better than I.

I saw one cloud and thought it was the sky.
I saw a bird and thought that I could follow.
But it was You that taught them how to fly.
If I let You reach me, will You teach me?

For You know better than I.
You know the way.
I've let go the need to know why.
I'll take what answers You supply.
'Cause You know better than I.