Accident Waiting to Happen

Yes, that's me. Accident prone to the nth degree. I don't know why, but stuff just seems to seek me out and trip me up. Literally. One of my friends just sent me a piece of flair on Facebook that says "I trip over flat surfaces." That definitely describes yours truly. My dad was asking me the other day where I got all the bruises on my legs. I don't even know. There were a couple I didn't even know I had that were really dark and ugly, and then a bunch of other smaller ones. I think that getting them is so commonplace for me that I don't even notice anymore. I have a permanent knot and discoloration on one of my shins from running into the dishwasher door so many times when it's open.

Just this last week I have attempted (though not intentionally) to knock myself out three different times. Currently, I am nursing a rip-roaring headache from my most recent attempt. I still have a very tender, bruised eyebrow from the first run-in (no pun intended) with the closet doorjamb. I'm not sure how I misjudged things, but I didn't quite make it out of the closet before ramming my head into the jamb. Yesterday . . . or maybe the day before (see, I think I've even given myself amnesia), I was cleaning out some drawers in Nathan's bedroom. I bent to put some things in his bottom drawer, and came down square between the eyes on the upper drawer which I had left pulled out, like an idiot. Today, I got a dryer sheet out of the cabinet above the washing machine. Why I didn't simply close the cabinet door is beyond me. I leaned in to grab the rest of the laundry out of the washer and nearly impaled my head on the corner of the cabinet door. I think that one hurt worse than either of the previous two incidents.

As if bashing my head into things weren't enough, I've also had other self-inflicted injuries this last week. I bent my thumbnail back trying to open a new container of margarine, and it broke off and bled. That thing's been sore for several days now, and I whacked it again on something just yesterday which hurt like the dickens. I slammed two fingers in the filing cabinet drawer and bruised my fingernails. I knocked one ankle on the gate that goes into the kitchen, and the other one on my parents' ice cream freezer which is sitting on the floor in the kitchen. I stepped on one of Nathan's little shaped pegs and bruised my heel, and pinched my thumb putting some stuff away in the kitchen. And then I burned my tongue on dinner last night which I KNEW good and well was too hot to put in my mouth. Moron.

I have to say, none of my little accidents required an emergency room visit or stitches or traction or anything like that, so I have to be thankful for that! A guy at our church cut his finger with a chainsaw last week--at least my injuries didn't involve anything like that! However, I am thinking about just getting in bed and staying there for several days so I can heal up without doing any further damage to myself. Of course, I have fallen out of bed before and really hurt myself, so there's no guarantees that bed is going to be a safe place for me either. Maybe I need therapy! I'm just hoping I can make it through the weekend in one piece. ;)