I need a happy ending

Rex and I watched "The Guardian" yesterday. It was a good movie, but the ending stunk! I am a sucker for happy endings. I hate to watch a movie all the way through and then be disappointed because the ending is sad or depressing. There are maybe one or two exceptions, but even with those, I would have preferred a better end result. "Braveheart" is one.

I also really detest sad movies for sad movies' sake. For example, I will not watch "Old Yeller" or "Where the Red Fern Grows" (I've seen them both once, and that was plenty). What is the point of those movies?? I could lump "Steel Magnolias" and "Beaches" into a similar category. I also don't like the super sad, sappy songs either (can't stand "The Christmas Shoes.") There's already too much stuff in this world that is sad and depressing. I don't need anything else to bring me down, even if it is just a fictional story.

That reminds me of the episode of "Friends" where Phoebe finds out that her mother never let her watch the sad endings of movies and she thought they all ended happily. She was so upset when she found out what REALLY happened in all those movies. That's a pretty funny episode, but I think they should have let Phoebe stay ignorant and happy! Maybe I'm a little weird.

Well, that's all for now. Toodle-loo!

Can we say DUH!!!!!!!!

OK. It's official. I'm a moron.

We have some friends who got married today. We've been planning to go to their wedding since day one. We also have some friends who are getting married in August. Well, long story short, we got dressed up, got Nathan all dolled up, and took off for the wedding this afternoon . . . but we went to the WRONG CHURCH!!! We went to the church where the wedding in August will be. We both just KNEW the wedding today was at that church. We knew it so well that we didn't bother even looking at the invitation. And, we didn't bother bringing the invitation with us either, because we both knew exactly where we were going. We tried texting and calling a couple of people who we knew were going, to ask them where it was, but couldn't reach anyone. By then it was about ten minutes until the wedding was going to start and we knew there was no way we could make it in time, particularly since we had no idea where to go. All we could do was just go home and write it off as a moronic blunder.

So, we drove home feeling defeated and really stupid, and changed out of our wedding attire into something much more comfortable. I put Nathan down for a nap and ran to the grocery store to get a couple of items we needed for dinner tonight. It wasn't how we had planned to spend the afternoon, but it all worked out, I suppose. We'll have to apologize to the now-married couple for missing their nuptials. I'm really bummed about that.

Well, I'm going to go get ready for bed now. More later!

I learned something new about couponing!

I actually learned some incredibly useful knowledge that I didn't know about using coupons!! And, strangely enough, I learned it from my husband (I know, go figure!) I think he learned it from talking with a guy at work whose wife is a big coupon shopper. I found out that you can use coupons for any of the products that fall under the particular brand name on the coupon, whether the coupon is ACTUALLY for that specific product or not. For example, I used a Ritz chips coupon and bought some plain Ritz crackers, and a Bertolli pasta package coupon to purchase jarred pasta sauce. I'm not sure just how far this reaches, but I think you could use a Pampers pull ups coupon for regular Pampers diapers and maybe even a coupon for Dove hair products to buy Dove deodorant. I will have to experiment and see what the store will actually take. I am very excited about this newfound knowledge because that means that so many of the coupons I haven't been able to use in the past (and sadly, have thrown money down the drain by tossing them in the garbage) are now very usable, and I can save a lot more money that way!

I also found out that WalMart will price match any competitor's ads, so I am going to start checking all the ads for good buys now and taking them with me to the store when I shop. I am really hoping to save a bunch of money by doing this! YAY!

Well, gotta go get my little one out of the shower--his daddy is "yoo hooing" me!

Hanging out with the boys

Today I am just hanging with my guys. My dad came over and he and Rex are currently engaged in a shoot-'em-up X-Box game and Nathan is currently napping. I need to put the laundry in the dryer, empty the dishwasher, clean my bedroom, list some eBay items, and put some makeup on. But here I am wasting away in Blogville. It is much more fun than those other alternatives.

Rex is doing much better today. He still hurts the worst when he laughs or sneezes. He's been laughing a LOT. He's laughed really hard at stuff that wasn't even funny. Earlier in the week he could blame the drugs, but he hasn't even taken any the last couple of days. If I laugh AT ALL, he just starts laughing uncontrollably. The other day I just sniffed really hard and he thought I was laughing, so he started laughing. I was like, "Dude, get a grip!" There are times however, that we keep making each other laugh and it's really bad. Those are the times when we have to go into separate rooms to get control over ourselves so that Rex doesn't die from all the hilarity. He can't wait until that part is over. He told me last night, "I HAVE to be able to laugh! It's who I am. I LAUGH." He's funny.

I got some movies from the library yesterday. It's been so long since we've had any time to just sit and watch a movie together. We watched "Superman Returns" last night. It was OK. I wasn't blown away by it or anything, but it was worth seeing. I thought it was really stupid how it was supposed to take place five years after the previous Superman movie and yet all the actors they chose for the parts were quite a bit younger than all the actors in the originals. The guy that played Superman looked like a little boy compared to Christopher Reeve. Call me picky, but I just thought it was a little ridiculous. We won't have time to watch anything today, but maybe we can catch some more later in the week/weekend. I'm looking forward to it.

I went swimming last night with Nathan in his new little inflatable pool. It's really cute--it has a canopy over it that "rains" water down on you, if you want it to. Nathan loves that. It was over 90 degrees when we went out there, but the water was cool, and with the wind blowing, Nathan and I both nearly froze to death!! Who knew? We didn't stay in there too long just because we couldn't stand it. Crazy, huh?

OK. I'd better go get something done. Bye for now.

We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.

Proverbs is full of some very interesting and very true nuggets of wisdom. It's really wild to see how many of them play and are playing out in my own life. When I was younger, I had all sorts of plans for my life. And it seems that especially when you're young, people always seem to be asking the question: "Where do you see yourself in five years . . . in ten?" Yeah, I always had a answer for that. I had plans. I had goals and dreams. One of them was realized when I married my best friend. And another when I had my sweet baby boy. But a lot of those dreams I once had have gone by the wayside. Even dreams that the Lord originally led me to pursue. Why? They ended up not being His plans after all. It's like He changed directions for me in midstream and decided to steer me in a different way. Or maybe I'm just a total dufus and can't understand what God tells me.

That has been a difficult thing to swallow at times. I have often been sort of an over-achiever when it came to certain things, maybe even to a fault. I'm also a total planner and scheduler. I had dreams of a very successful career in helping people, and believed strongly that was what God wanted for me. I got my bachelor's degree in Family Psychology, and applied to grad school to pursue that dream of being a Marriage and Family Therapist. I was pumped. I was excited. I was ready to go. And then after a year and a half, God told me that's not where He wanted me. I was completely discouraged and felt like a failure. What about all that time and money I had poured into schooling? What about my dreams? What about my future? I had no idea what I was even going to do with my life.

And then God led me into the music field. Music had been my love for as long as I could remember, but I had chosen a different career path in college because I didn't want to perform or teach, and music doesn't lend itself to much else. But at that later point in my life, I was really excited about the possibility of teaching. I loved working with high school students, and had found that I had at least somewhat of a knack for teaching them. I had a new dream! I enrolled at the Seminary where I could get my master's in the same amount of time that it would take to get a bachelor's anywhere else. I did really well in the program and was excited about what was in store for me. Then one summer day, a year away from graduation, God simply said, "I don't want you to go back to school." It was out of the blue and totally unexpected. I didn't even know what to say. He used several people--close and trusted friends--to give me this message and confirm it. And then as if to put an exclamation point on it, He withdrew all the funds He had been supplying for me to pay for my education. I was once again without a clue as to what path my life would take at that point. My dreams had once again gone down the tubes.

I dedicated my time and energy to helping Rex with youth ministry. This was definitely what God had for me for a season. We made such a perfect team. We get along so well and work together like a horse and cart. I absolutely loved doing it. We were both very passionate about ministry and about teenagers and we saw God do some amazing things in our group. It was like I had a new dream--working with my husband was more than fulfilling enough for me; I didn't need my own career. And then one day all that came to a screeching halt. God made it clear that's not where He wanted either one of us anymore. Both of our dreams were shattered at that point.

So what to make of all that? Our plans? Out the window. Our dreams? Evidently not to be realized. This really has perplexed me a lot, but I keep coming back to several verses:

"We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." Proverbs 16:9
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'" Jeremiah 29:11
"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'" Isaiah 55:8-9
" . . . being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

I know that what the Lord has planned for me is infinitely better than anything I could dream up on my own. I also know that where I am now is a better place in many ways than where I would have been had I not listened to the Lord and gone my own way. I am so thankful to be a wife and mommy and fulfill God's will for me in those roles. Sometimes I still feel like a failure in my education and career paths, but God always reminds me that faithfulness to Him is never failure, no matter how the world might see it.

I don't ever answer those questions anymore about where I see myself in so many years. I only see myself being wherever God chooses to put me and doing whatever He tells me to do, and that is all up to Him and His timing. And after all these years, I am totally at peace with that.

The gall bladder, the gall bladder . . . whatever happened to the gall bladder?

I know. I'm weird. If you haven't figured that out by now, you're a little slow on the uptake. But nevertheless . . .

Rex had his gall bladder out yesterday morning. We arrived at the surgery center at 6:00am (when God's not even awake) and I have to say that everyone there was disgustingly perky for that hideous hour of the morning. I guess if you have a job like that, it's a good thing to be a morning person, but good gracious! Anyway, they took Rex back into surgery right on time--at 7:30am. Two of our deacons came and sat with me during the procedure--very sweet ladies--and so it turned out that I didn't need to bring my 10 Parents magazines after all. I lugged that heavy bag all over the place for nothing ;)

The surgery lasted a little longer than expected due to a couple of snags--nothing serious, but the doctor told me that Rex made him work for his money ;) Evidently, the cystic bile duct was nearly closed up with scar tissue and so they couldn't get the catheter in there to do all the things they had planned to do. After quite a few tries, they ended up doing things a little differently, but it all worked out. Then, one of the incisions wouldn't stop bleeding, so they ended up putting a stitch in it. The gall bladder had some scar tissue on it, which indicated past inflammation, and then of course, the bile duct was in bad shape, probably due to some "grit" (as the doctor called it) passing through there from time to time. And then there were the polyps. So, it was a good thing that Rex went ahead with the surgery.

They gave him some extra meds for nausea that acted like a double-whammy with the anesthesia, so Rex was out cold for some time. When they invited me back to the recovery area, I couldn't even rouse him. They told me that he had been a "wild man" and right after surgery was rolling around a lot and even flipped over on all fours. Of course, he was out of it and didn't know about any of it. When he finally woke up and they told him about it, all he could think of was the open-backed gown he had on and he said, "Did I moon everybody?" The nurse and I were cracking up, and she said with a smile, "We didn't look. We're professionals." Anyway, we didn't get to leave until noon because Rex just couldn't stay awake. He crashed on the couch as soon as we got home and slept like a rock until about 2:30. He's got good drugs, although he's been taking Ibuprofen instead this afternoon. He's had a healthy appetite, which is good. The nurse said he couldn't pick Nathan up for a week, but I remember the doctor saying it wasn't that big of a deal. I think we'll ask him about it when we call to make the post-op appointment on Monday. It's killing him (and Nathan too) not to be able to pick him up, particularly when Nathan's always coming up to him and saying, "Pick up! Pick up!"

It's odd, but yet totally miraculous how the body works. They said that Rex wouldn't even miss his gall bladder because the liver takes over and compensates for the fact that it's gone. So he doesn't have to take any extra meds or anything, which is good. That's wild to me.

Well, that's about all I know about gall bladders--and just that my husband is now minus his. We're glad to have it over and done with and praying for speedy healing with no infections or complications. We're also praying that he will feel tons better after having this done. Judging by what his insides looked like before, he definitely should!

Speaking of Dreams . . .

I don't know about anyone else, but I dream all night long every night!! It's been that way for as long as I can remember, and many nights it wears me plum out! Rex says he doesn't think he even dreams a lot of the time. I just can't even imagine that. My dreams are often very vivid and I can still remember some quite clearly that I had many years ago. With most of my dreams, I can only remember little bits and pieces and often even those are cloudy, but there have been some that have been absolutely crystal clear from beginning to end. Some of those I've told my prophet friends in hopes of an interpretation, but I don't know that I've ever really gotten an earth-shattering message out of them. Some interesting points, yes, but nothing huge.

I don't have any recurring dreams anymore. I used to have one when I was little, and I think it involved a merry-go-round, but it's been so long I can't remember. Now, I just have recurring themes in my dreams--different stories, contexts and people, but similar situations. One of the predominant themes is school--I'm back in school, either high school or college, and one or more of the following things happens:

1. It's after Christmas vacation or Spring Break, and I can't remember my locker combination
2. I can't find my class schedule to know what class I have at what time, or where the class meets
3. I wander all over campus looking for the building and classroom where I am supposed to be, and can't ever find it
4. It is late in the semester and I realize that there is a class (usually a math class) that I have forgotten to go to more times than I have gone, and I think I am going to flunk out of it
5. I go to class and realize that there is a big project due that I have forgotten about

Seriously, I dream about this stuff ALL the time. I had one like this just last night. It makes me crazy. I don't know why I'm all uptight about that stuff--praise the Lord, I'm not even in school anymore, and don't plan to go back (God willing!) These were not even scenarios that I struggled with when I was in school either, so I'm not sure where it all comes from.

There is another theme that hasn't come up recently, but it used to all the time. I am walking somewhere, and it's usually a long distance, but my legs don't want to work. It's like I can barely stand or walk, or like I'm trying to walk through water (but there is no water). It tires me out just trying, and I think there's no way I'm going to make it to the place where I am headed. Weird. I really hate these dreams.

Often, my dreams are set in familiar places like houses I used to live in, or my grandparents' old houses. Sometimes I'm at the church where I grew up. Then others occur in places I've never seen before. All sorts of people turn up in my dreams too--people I've often not thought of literally in years. It's odd how the mind works, isn't it? I don't understand dreams and don't believe they all have particular meaning, but I do think there is something to some of them. I've written the most vivid ones down for posterity. Some might make scary campfire stories to tell my son and his friends one day :) All I have to say is, what a bizzare thing the human psyche is!

A Dream Is a Wish

I was looking at someone else's blog (I think they call that blog stalking?) and found an interesting topic--they had made a "bucket list" much like the one in the movie that came out a few months ago with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. Incidentally, that looks like a pretty good movie, and we may have to see it. But anyway, the list included things that they wanted to do before they "kicked the bucket." It got me to thinking about what kinds of things that I might want to put on my "bucket list." That's kind of a difficult list to make because there are lots of things that I'd like to do, but none of them are particularly mandatory. In fact, if Jesus came back tomorrow, I wouldn't mind a bit! Now, if I were to simply die tomorrow, I would definitely miss a lot of things--being a mom to my baby boy and watching him grow up would be at the top of the list. But there are definitely some things that I wish I could do before the Lord takes me home, and so I made a list. Many of these are places I'd like to go/things I'd like to see around the world. And, they are in no particular order, so here goes (and I admit, I stole a few from the blog I was on--hey, they were good!)

1. Go to the Holy Land and walk where Jesus walked
2. Write a book
3. Write more songs
4. Make a quilt
5. Make some really beautiful scrapbooks
6. Read the Bible from cover to cover (it's sad I've never done this--but I'm on my way!)
7. Go llama trekking
8. Take more voice lessons
9. Learn to play the penny whistle
10. Deepen my relationship with Christ
11. Learn photography (stole that one)
12. Go on a cruise
13. See the Aurora Borealis (stole that one as well)
14. Go to the Smithsonian
15. Stomp grapes at a vineyard (stole that one too)
16. Stay in an ice hotel in Sweden (and another one stolen)
17. Tour some Mayan ruins
18. Walk on top of the Great Wall of China
19. Become a better friend
20. Visit the following places (other than the ones I've already mentioned): Alaska, Yellowstone, Mt. Rushmore, the top of the Statue of Liberty, Washington D.C., Disneyworld and MGM, Niagra Falls, Victoria in British Columbia, Rome, Greece, Belgium, Austria, Venice (and float down the "streets"), Germany (and see some concentration camps), the pyramids in Egypt, the Eiffel Tower in Paris

I imagine I'll think of more to add another time. But that's a pretty good start. I can't imagine that I'll have the opportunity to do ALL of these things (it is a WISH list) but hey, I can dream, can't I??? I've also got to overcome my fear of flying before I can visit most of the places on my list :) But there are some very do-able things on here that I plan to accomplish at some point. It's kind of exciting really.

So there you have it--my "bucket list."

The Ever Elusive Zzzz's

It seems that I am a hopeless insomniac. It's something I've dealt with for many years, but I think it's really catching up to me. I've tried lots of things: special teas, aromatherapy, warm baths, relaxation, reading dull books, Tylenol PM, watching TV, listening to soft music, you name it. What I've discovered that works the best lately is NyQuil. I've had to take quite a lot of it these last few months because I've been sick a lot. Being sick is the pits, but the trade-off has been that I think I may have slept more than I have in years. That's been GREAT! So, my sister-in-law suggested that since it's likely the alcohol in the NyQuil that's helping me sleep, why not try making a hot toddy every night at bedtime and see if that doesn't do the trick. That way, if I'm not sick and don't need all the medication that's in the NyQuil, I can still get the same effect. That sounded completely logical, so I got online and found several recipes for how to make hot toddies. Pretty simple: hot tea, lemon juice, honey, and a shot of whiskey, rum or brandy.

My next step was procuring some alcohol. Those that know me well know I HATE alcohol. I wouldn't label myself a teetotaller, but I just can't stand the taste of the stuff. Rex teases that he never has to worry about me becoming an alcoholic. Boy, that's a fact. I don't mind the NyQuil at all--they must do something really amazing to whatever kind of alcohol they put in there. So, Rex and I head over to Majestic one Saturday afternoon, and I think we're both cringing at the thought of going in there. Rex was hesitant to take Nathan in, but I gave him a hard time--the child is only 19 months old! It's not like it's going to leave an indelible impression. So I walk up to the guy at the front counter and explain my situation: making hot toddies, hate alcohol, need something mild that I can tolerate. He first looks at me like I have two heads, but then leads me over to a bottle of Wild Turkey American Honey. He tells me that this is the stuff for me, and that once I get all the other ingredients in the hot toddy, I shouldn't even taste the alcohol. I'm a little skeptical, but hopeful at the same time. It's not cheap, but for me it's like buying medicine, so I fork out the almost $30.00 and I'm on my way with my newly acquired bottle of whiskey in a brown paper bag. I feel like a wino.

So, we get Nathan in bed that night, and I'm ready to brew my concoction. I got it all ready and went for a sip. Well, let me tell you that either that guy at the liquor store didn't know what he was talking about, or he and the other lady in there had a good laugh when I walked out the door because that stuff is NASTY!!!!! Nothing I tried could cover up that taste. It tastes like rubbing alcohol with a burn. Not that I have ever guzzled rubbing alchol before, but the aftertaste from this stuff is much like the smell of strong rubbing alcohol. But I choked it down, hoping that a nice deep sleep would follow. The great thing about NyQuil is that you only have to down one of those little bitty medicine cups full. With a hot toddy, you gotta drink an ENTIRE CUP.

I crawled in bed, laid my head gently on the pillow and was ready to sink into dreamland. So how did it turn out? Would you believe that I was WIDE AWAKE for HOURS!!!!! That stupid, disgusting drink didn't help me one single bit. I tried it again several more nights (yes, I'm a sucker), and got the same result. I was hoping that maybe there were other circumstances involved that were interfering with things, but all my attempts were futile. I finally decided I just couldn't take the nastiness anymore, so it's up in the cabinet, waiting for me to find someone to pawn it off on.

So last night, I decided to see if this new medication I'm taking might do the trick. It says it causes drowsiness, so I thought, what the heck? Well, after a horrible night of almost no sleep, I'll be back on the NyQuil tonight. My old stand-by. Shoulda just stayed with it in the first place. It's never done me wrong. Maybe I'll write a love song about cherry NyQuil. Just kidding :)

Ah, Father's Day

I've had a pretty laid-back Father's Day, and it's not even MY day! Went to church this morning and then came home and took care of a very tired boy who wanted to nurse forEVER before going down for his nap. I finally got to eat my lunch when I got him down at 1:30pm. But then after that, Rex and I did some catch-up on our chronological Bible readings, and then watched (or I attempted to) a couple of History Channel shows that my dad had put on DVD for us. I couldn't keep my eyes open, so I took a little nap :) The programs were not really my type anyway--one was about Indians in the Civil War and the other was about technology in war. I saw the first part of the Indian one, and it was relatively interesting, but I'm not going to go back and pick up what I missed after falling asleep. It wasn't THAT interesting.

I did do some dishes (still have some more to do) and swept the kitchen floor. It was about time to do that since crumbs were starting to stick to my bare feet when I walked around in there. I can't stand that. I really need to mop also, but I'll get to that maybe tomorrow. That's probably my least favorite chore when it comes to house cleaning. Our floor is in such terrible shape that it takes an act of God to get it clean and I never feel like I've been able to REALLY clean it well. The finish is gone, so everything sticks to it, and there are so many cuts, holes and divets in the thing that it looks horrible. In order to get it super clean, I have to get down on my hands and knees and scrub it. HATE that. When we moved in, we actually thought the floor was brown because the lady that lived here before us never cleaned (the whole house was nasty). After I scrubbed it, I found out that it was actually cream-colored. Scary. Anyway, I'll mop it soon--just not today.

We celebrated Father's Day with my family yesterday and Dad enjoyed all of us kids and grandkids, along with some chocolate cake and homemade ice cream. Mom made a cake with Splenda for Baking and it was really good. I couldn't believe how good it was, actually. I'll have to get the recipe. The ice cream wasn't as good as what she usually makes though. She made it with these Junk-It (I think that's how you spell it) tablets that my grandmother (Dad's mom) used to use--Dad always loved that stuff and Mom happened to find it the other day at WalMart. To me, it had basically no flavor. Mom said that maybe she didn't add enough sugar, but I think it needed more than just sugar. The ice cream we normally make is really rich and vanilla-y. We love it. I could gain a hundred pounds on homemade ice cream and chocolate cake. But I do try and hold myself back so I don't. I am worried that once I stop nursing that I will blow up like a balloon. I keep telling myself I need to start cutting back now so that it won't be such a cold turkey experience once he does wean. I'm really dreading that for oh so many reasons. The main thing is that I think he is going to have a COW. But we have another couple of months to worry about it.

OK--I've wasted enough time. I'd better go in and get some dinner on the table. More later!

Time . . . Where does it go??

I'm just not really sure where time goes. They say that time flies, but I've looked up in the sky and seen nothing. Yet, before I know it, so much time has passed that I can't believe it. I am amazed as I think on the last 14 years of marital bliss with my husband and remember so clearly that wonderful day we said "I do." We've known each other for 18 years, which is a wild thing in and of itself--it seems as though we've known each other all our lives and yet, how could 18 years have gone by so fast? My little one is 19-1/2 months and it seems like just yesterday that I was pregnant. On the other hand, I can hardly remember life before he was here! I am dumbfounded at how he could have grown so much in such a short span, and at how much he's changed from that tiny bundle we brought home from the hospital. It blows my mind.

I was looking at some old pics of my family in some photo albums (that's Nathan's new favorite thing--looking at photo albums) and remembering those days. Wow! I can't see how I've lived 37 years already. I look at photos of my grandparents who are now with the Lord, and I see how my own parents have aged over the years. It really just blows my mind. It makes me sad in some ways too, just thinking about how short our time with each other truly is.

We've been reading through the chronological Bible together as a church, and Rex and I have made it a point to do our daily readings together. We haven't kept up as well as I might have liked, but it's been enjoyable doing that with him. Earlier this week we read Ecclesiastes. I don't know that I realized just how manic-depressive that Solomon was. Gracious, that guy's moods were just all over the place!! He talked a lot about how everything is meaningless. Sometimes it's easy to fall into that mentality, but when I'm not in the depths of despair, I find that to be completely untrue. I'm no philosopher per se, but I am a "wonderer" and I ask a lot of questions, particularly "whys" that really have no answer. Sometimes that's frustrating, but I still don't think I would say everything is just totally meaningless. I'm not sure exactly what meaning to ascribe to a lot of things, but I wouldn't say that just because of that, those things have no meaning. I don't know.

Well, now that I've pondered that deep and endless subject, I think I'll get busy and do some cleaning. My child has made a disaster area of my office and I really must get it picked up before it drives me up the wall. I'll ponder more about something different at a later time. :)

Hmmm . . . Am I getting old or what??

Yesterday was Rex's and my 14-year anniversary. Funny thing is that neither one of us remembered it until my parents called at 9:30pm last night. We knew it was coming up. In fact, we went this past weekend and bought each other a canopy for the backyard as an anniversary gift. But neither of us had a clue that the day had come and almost gone until it WAS almost gone. We just laughed and wished each other a happy anniversary at 9:30pm. We weren't planning to celebrate yesterday anyway--with church activities and a sick child, there was no way. We'll do something fun sometime soon.

I was talking to my brother and sister-in-law on the phone last night (since they also remembered our anniversary even though we didn't) and was telling them about all our recent doctor appointments. Last week I went in for some bloodwork because I've just been so tired all the time, and not feeling at all like myself. I just haven't felt like doing anything in a long time. I drag around and have no energy. Well, my bloodwork came back and it turns out I have problems with my thyroid. I think that runs in our family, so it's not a huge surprise, but now I'm on medication for that. I've also struggled with depression for a long time and finally got some medication for that, so I'm hopefully on course to start feeling better and more like myself very soon. I'm very excited about that. I also have an appointment with an allergist to see if we can't get my allergies and asthma under better control since I've had 3 bad sinus infections in the last 6 months. Then there's Rex--he's already seeing an allergist for his issues. In fact, he had his skin test today and will start injection therapy next week. We also went this week to see a surgeon and as it turns out, Rex will have his gall bladder removed a week from tomorrow.

So, as I was relating all of these things to Paul and Holly, I just had to laugh. All that talk about doctor's appointments and forgetting our anniversary and all just made me think, "That pretty much just says we're getting OLD, in a bucket--yup, that sums it all up!" They laughed and laughed with me.

I often think of Monty Python's Holy Grail movie (I know, I'm warped) and this scene where the king comes up on a guy working in a field:
King Arthur: Old Woman!
Man: Man!
Arthur: Man, sorry.... What knight lives in that castle over there?
Man: I'm thirty-seven!
Arthur: (suprised) What?
Man: I'm thirty-seven! I'm not old--

Sometimes I think, "I'm thirty-seven! I'm not old!" and other times I just give in to all the other things that remind me of how old I am getting! Seriously though, I'm not going to get old without a fight!! I may fight from the comfort of my couch, but doggone it, I'll be fighting! :)

I was chuckling to myself the other day as I was talking with a girl from church who is expecting a baby in the next couple of weeks. She was telling me about how being "older" had made this pregnancy more difficult than her first--she felt more tired and "creaky", I believe, was the word she used. I agreed that being older and pregnant was definitely harder, as is raising a child when you're older. She asked how old I was when I was pregnant with Nathan and I told her 35. I think she felt a little funny when she confessed that she was only 30. But, most younger people don't realize how much different things are when you get a little older. I am glad for the wisdom (hopefully I have a little more of it than I did a few years back) and experiences I have had that will enable me to hopefully be a better mom at this stage in my life. But, I do wish for the energy I had when I was younger to be able to keep up with this little guy who seems to have enough energy for about 5 of me! The Lord works everything out according to His good purpose, though. So I know it's all good. It would be nice if we could just get all that wisdom and stuff without our bodies going kaput at the same time :) C'est la vie!

A new blog!

I decided that I wanted to create my very own blog. I've been blogging for over two years about my baby boy on his page (http://www.xanga.com/baby_cunningham), but just suddenly had the urge to have a page of my own. I'm sure the two will intertwine, since that little guy is a huge part of my life and all, but this will be a space where I can mainly talk about what's up with yours truly. Anyone is welcome to jump on the cart and take this ride with me, but do so at your own risk :) Who knows where it will go?! You know, a blog is a funny thing. It's like a diary that you let everyone read. How bizarre is that?? But it's fun, and can be very therapeutic at times. I'll try to signal a warning when those "couch" moments come and I begin to self-psychoanalyze.

The time has come for me to end this and start making dinner. Something about me . . . I am a pretty good cook (if I do say so--it's come with LOTS of practice because I used to be a culinary failure), but I really don't like cooking. It's very time-consuming, and I would much rather be spending my time doing other things. Also, cooking makes more dishes and more dishes means more work which also keeps me from spending my time doing other things. I'm ready for the Star Trek technology where you tell the computer what you want, the door opens up, and out slides your delicious, home-cooked meal in seconds. And, I'm procrastinating, so I'd better run. But here's my first post on my new blog!!